Black Gold or Brown Poison - Coffee On The Road.

Cafe au bord de la mer - Now that's fancy!

Nothing is more likely to evoke wrath on internet forums and groups as the topic of coffee.
The term 'coffee wanker' is not uncommon, probably due to there being an abundance of coffee wankers out there. All said and done, a love of decent coffee is nothing new and one doesn't need spend twenty bucks a cup on something shit out of an Indonesian civet, to enjoy a good cup or two.

Yes the petulant pain-deers of generation Y have fucked up coffee for many of us. Largely by loitering in coffee shops sporting a Ned Kelly beard, 'fair-trade footwear' or band T shirts from their parent's generation, smugly thinking they discovered them, but most of all by boring us with talk of coffee instead of just shutting the fuck up and drinking it. Of course, they discovered coffee too; just like everything else they've re-hashed and fucked up for everyone else. In reality, coffee is like music; it's either well made and pleasant to consume, or it's shit. Whilst some people go for factory pop and others prefer to kick back and listen to Geoffrey Tozer tinkling away at Medtner, neither preference makes one a better listener.

All said and done, one man's meat is another man's poison. Oh fuck! I just mentioned meat and gender in the same sentence. I'm now officially the mortal enemy of generation Y. All condescension aside, coffee means different things to different people. Whether you're satisfied with a cup of International Roast with a splash of UHT, or you prefer a ristretto brewed from 'bespoke' roasted beans, it's all a matter of taste and nobody gets points for their choice.

"If you need to have fancy coffee every day, you shouldn't be camping!" Oh fuck off you myopic old twatgannets!

People can drink what they like. The thing that gets me about opinions, is not only are they not all the same as mine, but people happily proffer them without considering other people's circumstances. The problem with discussion pertaining to life 'on the road' is that Australia's road warriors are split into a number of demographics.

Most conflict occurs when the part time Harry Butler impersonators clash with those who live permanently on the road. Whilst I'm generalising to a degree, it's often a case that the Harry Butlers live in houses and make pilgrimages to the bush where they shit in a hole, eat road kill and talk for hours to people who can't escape, about suspension! Those who live permanently on the road fit into a number of sub-demographics, but invariably they endeavour to enjoy certain home comforts, primarily because they're mobile accommodation is just that; their home. Nobody begrudges the Harry Butlers their opportunity to roast beef under the bonnet (Boeuf  a la Distillate), craft tools from a rock, start campfires with just the sun and an old Coke bottle, or whatever else they get up to in the privacy of the bush. Likewise, they should mind their own fucking business and realise that it's not a crime to consume espresso ('expresso' to them) outside of the city walls.

So now that I've offended every group, let's get into how one goes about knocking up a decent espresso on the road, because I am indeed one of those wankers who enjoys a decent brew.

Without over thinking it too much, making decent espresso is a little like photography. Light, shutter speed and aperture size are loosely akin to heat, pressure and speed of extraction. Like anything that's essentially pressed, the first stage of extraction, produces the most desired product. The objective is to extract as much of the good stuff from the coffee as soon as possible, because what follows is largely acidic water, which does little for the flavour.

Electric Machines

All forms of extraction obviously require heat. Some argue (including me) that the best coffee machines utilise a boiler (usually electric) to heat the water, but rely on a hand operated piston to pump the water through the beans at great pressure, allowing the operator complete control over the speed at which extraction occurs. There are small domestic machines that apply this principle, the better known of which are the La Pavoni machines. Starting around the $850 mark, they ain't cheap.

Piston type electric machine

All electric home espresso machines work on the same principle, most using an electric pump to force the water through the ground coffee, they can range in price from $100 to way up in the thousands. The quality of the machine is usually measured on it's capacity to control temperature, pressure and pump speed.

There's really not a lot more I can say about electric machines without boring every one's socks off. If you stay on powered sites and have the room for such a machine, you're sorted. As far as off grid living goes, if you have a big enough battery bank and solar array to handle it, you're sorted too. However, unless you're absolutely sure of how much of your battery capacity you're consuming and how much power your array is generating, you could be, albeit inadvertently, doing irreparable damage to your batteries.

Anything that generates heat consumes significant power (W). Anything that consumes significant power draws significant current (A). Current drawn x time, results in battery consumption (Amp hours). The more powerful your coffee machine and the more often you use it, the more likely you are to be discharging your batteries deeper than 50% depth of discharge, which in terms of AGM batteries, means irreversible damage. Your espresso could end up costing you significantly more than that which is shit out of an Indonesian civet.

Also be aware of safety issues relating to inverters. Please see my previous entry, "Inverters - Physics or Juju?"

As for generators. Well I'm not one to judge (sorry, picking myself up off the floor), but I think generators are about considerate use. If your coffee making procedure involves pissing everyone else off with the noise of a generator every morning, I don't think consideration is your top priority.

Plungers

Plungers make a certain type of coffee. Extraction is achieved by slowly steeping ground coffee in hot water, then depressing a mesh diaphragm onto the grounds in order to get the most out of them. It's not a controlled form of extraction as pressure and extraction speed cannot be adjusted. Plunger coffee is designed to produce whole cups of coffee, as opposed to espresso, which is a concentrate that's consumed either as it is, or diluted with either milk or water.

For those who drink espresso, a plunger won't cut it, but it's a particular style that's the coffee preference of many people. Plunger coffee had it's peak in the 1990s, when it was common place, even in cafes. It's nowhere near as popular these days, but for those who enjoy it, it's a very simple option that doesn't require the use of electricity.

Hand Press Espresso Machines

Hand press machines are a relatively recent development. OK, so they were borne out of the gen Y desire to feel at one with nature without sacrificing the morning macchiato, but they are in fact an excellent, relatively low cost solution to achieving desirable espresso extraction without power.

Like the plunger, the ground coffee steeps in hot water, inside the capsule, but for significantly less time. That's due to the hand press having the capacity to apply considerable pressure to the mixture of coffee and water, by means of a hand operated pump.

The most popular hand press on the market is the Aeoropress, which retails for around $70. Like anything, they have their limitations. For those who drink the classic milk based coffee styles, a separate milk heater / frother is required. That's not difficult as there are a number of stove top units available, that don't require electricity. They do however, constitute an additional expense.

Hand Press Machine

For me as one half of a coffee drinking couple, the biggest limitation is that most hand presses offer the best results when making only one shot of espresso at a time. Therefore, if two decent shots are required, you have to empty it, re-fill it and go through the process again. This means that sitting down to have a coffee at the same time as a friend or partner, isn't really possible without compromising the results. On the flip side, hand presses such as the Aeropress are relatively inexpensive, so owning 2 units for simultaneous operation, is still considerably more cost effective than buying a decent electric machine.

Stove Top Machines

There are stove top machines and there are 'stove top machines!'

The basic principle of stove top machines is that ground coffee is placed in a basket above a chamber containing water. There's a top chamber in which the finished espresso is collected. The top and bottom chambers are sealed in order that steam and liquid cannot escape easily from the bottom. There's a capillary system located above the coffee basket that ensures that hot water can only escape from the bottom chamber by means of being forced through the ground coffee as a result of convection.

The most common and affordable stove top machine is the classic eight sided Bialetti Moka Pot. Generally speaking, they don't extract a highly concentrated brew. Some people use them to make a 'plunger-like' coffee, with which they fill an entire cup and add a dash of milk. It's not an unpleasant coffee drinking experience, but probably not the first choice for espresso drinkers who are used to coffee made by pumped based machines.

The Classic Moka Pot

With a bit of jiggery pokery I've achieved fairly decent results from the classic Bialetti pot. I've found it's about the strength of the coffee blend, the grind, packing the basket correctly, applying a vigorous flame and removing the pot from the flame before all of the water has risen from the bottom chamber. I've managed to make fairly concentrated espresso, suitable for lattes or short blacks. The downside is, it takes a lot of effort to get it right and if you do like milk based coffees, you'll also need a stove top frother. This type of stove top pot is also crafted from aluminium, which is undesirable for some people.

Espresso / Frother Combo Machines

As someone who lives permanently on the road and often off grid, this type of machine is very much my personal choice. The better known machines are the inordinately stylish Atomic, the very practical Vesubio (defunct) and more recently the Bellman, which is a replica of the Vesubio, with which parts are thankfully interchangeable.

Given my expression of thanks for being able to access parts, you have probably worked out that I own a Vesubio. I found a vintage model (1967) on ebay many years ago. It had never been used and arrived in its original packaging. I paid $35 including postage! Virtually the same machine is readily available again, under the Bellman name, for around $200. Atomics are once again being manufactured to the original design. Whilst they're irresistibly groovy, at $500, in my personal opinion, they don't achieve as desirable a result as the Vesubio / Bellman machines. That's not to say I wouldn't want one just to look at.

Vintage Vesubio - On my stove

The differences between the classic Bialetti and 'combo' machines are subtle, but they make an immense difference to the end result. The ratio of water to ground coffee is higher. This not only generates greater pressure for extraction, but also allows for the operation of a frother. The pot is much more effectively sealed and the capillary arm from which the coffee emerges into a collection vessel, involved more intricate plumbing, resulting in greater extraction pressure. That arm also has an adjustable valve and nozzle, which allows control over the speed of extraction.

Once loaded, the process is fairly automated. My preference is to measure an accurate volume of extracted espresso, simply by extracting into a Pyrex measuring jug. This means that I shut the extraction valve before the lighter coloured, more acidic liquid is extracted into the collection vessel. The extracted espresso is always dark and concentrated with a decent golden brown crema. As soon as that valve is shut off, all heat is dedicated to building up steam pressure for the frother. The frother is very powerful, extremely effective and enables me to heat and froth at least a litre of milk in either one or two separate batches.

One of the downside of combo stove top machines are that they aren't as economical in terms of ground coffee as typical electric machines. The other is that the espresso has to sit in the collection vessel for a few minutes while the frother builds up steam. That's going to upset the odd purist as there's a coffee making mantra about pouring milk onto concentrated espresso within 20 seconds of extraction. I'm sure that philosophy has it's merits, but after having owned several high end coffee machines, including a vintage La Cimbali, the Holy Grail of commercial hand operated piston machines worth thousands of dollars, I'm still impressed by what we can do with the Vesubio.

The Coffee Itself

The choice is endless. There are excellent large large Australian roasters such as Vittoria, which is very consistent in terms of supply throughout Australia. There are also many, many small roasters throughout Australia, even in regional areas. Experiment.

I'm not going to pit one coffee brand against another. I don't mind upsetting entire generations, but I'm not game to go there. That would mean all out confrontation.